Dishwasher Saga

     I thought about it, and realized that maybe I should put all my poems as posts, as I have enough to crowd the page section.
     Below is something I wrote in the summer last year, right around the time of the solar eclipse.  We were having some trouble with our dishwasher, which was annoying me immensely.  Naturally, my response was to write a mini-mock-epic.  (As it turns out, the last line is true: we noticed a big difference once we switched to a fancier detergent.)  I may write some more about the other episodes involving inconveniences in our home.


Saga of the Dishwasher
Part IV: It Had Better Work This Time...

Sing O Muse of that house in the Mews

And of its inhabitants, partial to cleanliness!
Such lovers of crumb-lessness, and haters of messiness
Did encounter a hardship with their washer of dishes.
The fickleness of Maytag shall be known by all--
So listen up, all of y'all!

Gloria, great goddess of disinfectants,
And fearsome in fridge purgation,
Was fuming in the kitchen, dish-weary and pruny-handed:
“Before even I refreshed myself with the nectar of the gods,
“Before even I coaxed caffeine from the bean,
“And long ere I tasted the cinnamon roll bequeathed unto me
“I did battle with dishes.”

“The vinegar gone and the washer a-washed,

“I proceeded with loading:
“To each dish have I taken a sponge,
“In hopes that the washer can for us expunge
“Unsightly marks from lipstick,
“And solar eclipse-like spoons.
“Streaks of milky-white and grimy texture
“And food dried onto neighboring dishes I hope no more to see!”

If all these measures prove in vain, it may be that soap causes the stain.