Ode to Coffee

     After many weeks of sadly believing this poem to be lost, I finally found it when clearing out old emails.  Hip hip hooray!  This is one of my two proudest parody-poem moments (the other being "beowulf slept in a gory meadhall").  This is modeled after the poem "Sonnet 43," by Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Sonnets from the Percolator
43: O Coffee Bean

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the mill and roaster, too.
My hand shall reach when morning comes anew
For a mug and spoon (I'm still in a daze).
I love thee as thou ridst me of morning's haze,
Most wond'rous drink, celestial nectar-brew.
I love thee deeply: other drinks I eschew.
I love thee madly: it's more than just a craze.
I love thee with or without white cow juice
Or sugar cane, or sweet and tempting snack.
I love thee so much more than chocolate mousse!
When I've sipp'd, the aroma beckons me back.
Morning, night, all the day long, I'll never lose
My love for thee thou shalt not lack.